In a world often marked by division and contentious discourse, there’s a profound need for a different approach to difficult conversations. As people of faith, we are called to exemplify a higher standard in how we communicate, especially when addressing challenging topics. This concept, known as “holy conferencing,” offers a transformative way to engage in dialogue that is both Christ-centered and guided by the Holy Spirit.
At its core, holy conferencing recognizes the inevitability of disagreements within any community. However, it proposes that these differences need not lead to division. Instead, they can become opportunities for growth, understanding, and ultimately, a stronger sense of unity in Christ.
The apostle Paul, in his letter to the Colossians, provides a beautiful framework for this approach. He writes, “Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience” (Colossians 3:12). This imagery of clothing ourselves with virtues is powerful. Just as we choose what to wear each day, we must consciously decide to put on these Christ-like attributes when engaging with others, especially in challenging conversations.
These virtues – compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience – are not just nice ideas. They are the fruit of a life transformed by the Holy Spirit. When we allow the Spirit to guide our interactions, these qualities naturally emerge, creating an atmosphere conducive to meaningful dialogue and mutual understanding.
Paul goes on to emphasize the importance of forgiveness: “Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Colossians 3:13). In any community, mistakes and misunderstandings are bound to occur. The ability to forgive is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and fostering an environment where honest, open communication can thrive.
Central to the concept of holy conferencing is the recognition that we are all part of one body in Christ. This unity should inform how we approach our differences. Paul reminds us to “let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body” (Colossians 3:15). This peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of Christ’s reconciling love amidst our disagreements.
Perhaps most importantly, Paul exhorts us to “clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony” (Colossians 3:14). Love is the thread that weaves all these virtues together. It’s what drives us to listen deeply, speak truthfully, and seek the good of others, even when we disagree.
In practice, holy conferencing challenges us to move beyond surface-level politeness to a deeper, more authentic engagement with one another. It requires us to see each person we encounter as created in God’s image, deserving of respect and dignity regardless of their views. This perspective transforms how we speak and listen.
When we engage in holy conferencing, we choose our words carefully, avoiding inflammatory language or personal attacks. We strive to understand the experiences and reasoning behind others’ viewpoints, listening not just to respond, but to truly comprehend. This approach stands in stark contrast to the soundbite culture that often dominates public discourse.
Imagine the transformation that could occur if this approach to communication became the norm in our homes, workplaces, and communities. What if political discussions were guided by these principles rather than by power struggles and divisive rhetoric? While we may not be able to change the entire world overnight, we can certainly begin to influence our immediate spheres of influence.
As followers of Christ, we are called to be peacemakers and to reflect Jesus in all we do, including how we handle disagreements. The early disciples, despite their diverse backgrounds and occasional conflicts, learned to work together under Christ’s guidance. Their example challenges us to do the same.
However, it’s important to acknowledge that many churches and faith communities struggle with implementing these principles. Too often, disagreements lead to behind-the-scenes grumbling, gossip, and division rather than open, loving dialogue. This failure to embody Christ-like communication has, sadly, driven many people away from the church, leaving them hurt and disillusioned.
If we truly desire to be a community that reflects God’s love to the world, we must commit to doing better. We must recognize that holy conferencing is about more than just polite conversation; it’s about living out our baptismal covenant to “increase faith, confirm hope, and perfect love” in one another.
Implementing holy conferencing in our lives requires intentionality and practice. It begins with a commitment to see Christ in every person we encounter. It involves carefully choosing our words, actively listening to understand, and always seeking to build up rather than tear down. It means being willing to forgive, to bear with one another’s faults, and to persistently pursue unity even when it’s challenging.
As we embrace this approach, we have the opportunity to create ripples of change in our world. By consistently modeling Christ-centered communication in our daily interactions, we can influence those around us and gradually shift the culture of our communities.
In a world crying out for healing and reconciliation, holy conferencing offers a powerful witness to the transformative love of Christ. It challenges us to rise above the divisive norms of our culture and embody a different way of engaging with one another. As we clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, and above all, love, we create spaces where God’s presence can be felt and where true understanding can flourish.
Let us commit to making holy conferencing a reality in our lives. May our words and actions reflect the love of Christ, bringing hope, healing, and unity to a world in desperate need of genuine, Spirit-guided dialogue.
